[Assassins]

Год выпуска: 2014
Жанр: Инди, Шедевр, Симулятор, 11/10, GOATY
Разработчик / Издательство: Coffee Stain Studios
Платформа: PC

Версия: 1.1.29060

Тип издания: Пиратка
Язык интерфейса: Английский (перевод не требуется)
Таблэтка: Вшита (3DM SteamEmu)

Системные требования:
> ОС: Windows XP / Vista / 7 / 8
> Процессор: QuadCore 2.0 GHz +
> Оперативная память: 4 Gb
> Видеокарта: DirectX 9.0c-compatible, SM 3.0-compatible, 512MB VRAM+; NVIDIA GeForce 8800 GTS or better
> Жёсткий диск: 1.5 Gb свободного места
> Звуковая карта: DirectX 9.0c-compatible, 16-bit

Описание:
Goat Simulator — это безумный симулятор об эксцентричном козле, который вытворяет все, что ему заблагорассудится. EPIC WIN! GOTY!

Разработчики предупреждают, что Goat Simulator — это очень маленькая, глючная и глупая игра, которая была сделана на коленке буквально за пару недель. И в этих словах, сдается нам, нет ни капли субъективности: все-таки симулятор козла (да еще и единственный в своем роде), в котором шкодливое животное носится по округе и вытворяет откровенные глупости, по определению не может претендовать на серьезность.

Сама студия Coffee Stain Studios относится к своему новому творению с изрядной долей иронии. Дабы подчеркнуть абсурдность проекта, релиз назначили на 1 апреля. Девелоперы призывают общественность не ждать от Goat Simulator «масштабов GTA с козами» и отнестись к ней как к забавной первоапрельской безделушке за 10 долларов.

ver 1.1.29060

• Fixed hitbox on flappy goat
• Fixed some borked achievements like "GoatBuilt" etc.
• Worked on super secret things
• Fixed some borked quests.
• Shrek is love
• Shrek is life
• Assorted bugfixes
• Made hitbox on flappy goat worse again

ver 1.1.28847

• Added local splitscreen multiplayer
• Added a new map, try it out in the “custom game” section
• The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old
• Humans consequently learned to speak. You’ll wish they hadn’t.
• Added more goats
• Isn’t this kid super cute? http://vimeo.com/95834056
• Made fun of Michael Bay. Again. Please don’t sue.
• Added more powers
• Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat
• Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game
• Made sure no class differences exists in Goat City Bay
• Added tons of achievements
• You can now run along walls
• You can now run up walls
• Stand by for Goatfall
• Changed batteries in our fire alarm
• The Goats have learned to ride bikes, press R to mount.
• The Goats have learned to ride longboards, press R to mount.
• The Humans have learned how to ride Goats
• Enjoyed flappy goat
• You can now buy hats for money
• This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here
• Fixed display of Int enchantments on crafted gear
• Applying plastic wrap around your screen will now give you a 3D-effect.
• Added VR support
• Reverted hitbox of flappy goat
• Made hitbox worse on flappygoat
• Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game.
• Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat.
• Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch
• Changed the points required for the Flappy Goat Achievement from 10 to 30
• Just kidding.
• Removed VR support
• Ultra-realistic water simulation
• Fire alarm still beeping
• You can now swim. Well not really swim, more like float around in a semi-controlled buoyant propulsion fashion.
• Added volume slider in options for NPC speech.
• Deadmau5 has finally left EDM. Is now making Goatronica.
• We went to see Godzilla. It was ok. Cool sound effects.
• Updated patch notes.
• Added a lot of new sound effects.
• Mary had a little ... GOAT!? Historians uncover new evidence, click here!
• There is a new game inside of the game, it’s called SteamWorld Goat.
• Honored Notch
• Changed batteries in fire alarm. Again.
• Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us?
• Patch notes now covers more than an A4.
• Seriously stop making threads asking about patch notes 4 seconds after the patch goes live, calm down
• Game downloading, does anyone have the patch notes?
• New patch?
• Patch released today does anyone know what it does
• Where are the patch notes
• Fire alarm still beeping
• Why is the patch so big?
• Lazy devs.
• If you want we can zip it, then rar it to make it smaller. Do you want it on Megaupload?
• Is this game worth it? Should I buy?
• Devs please put the game on a sale so I can save 4 bucks
• I don’t like ___, please add an option to remove ___
• Performed Satanic rituals to summon Phil Fish
• Plz come back
• Actually optimized the game a bit
• What use are ladders when you can run on the walls?
• I hate water
• Played a whole lot of Wildstar
• Volvo pls fix ___.
• Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
• Added Uncle Goat, I’m sorry about my Goat.
• Added a Capture the Flag game mode.
• Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye.
• We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it.
• Updated our Meta Score to 91/100.
• Killed PC gaming
• How long will the patch notes be?
• Changed batteries in the other fire alarm
• Increased Storm Spirit’s Static Remnant AoE by 15.
• Ride a bike with a human on your back. Not like this dude: http://youtu.be/B7-6nXGflec
• You can now play ragdoll goat hockey!

ver 1.1.28605

• Public beta build with the new map

ver 1.0.28282

• Just a minor fix for stability ;)

ver 1.0.28141

• Fixed some broken stuff on the workshop.
• Mods that crashed have to be recooked to work in 32-bit.
• Fixed the Flappy Goat hitbox.
• Reduced Simulation Realism by 10%. got too real
• Added Profanity filter. We didn't expect so many Kids to play it ;D
• The profanity filter is off by default.
• Optimized a bit more and added some optimization options.
• Recook the mods that crashed and they will to work in 32-bit!
• Reverted the Flappy Goat hitbox to its previous state.
• Fixed the mana regeneration issue with Arcane specced Spellblades.

ver 1.0.28026

• Added more goats.
• Added more goatiness to the map.
• Added and fixed achievements.
• Increased the simulation realism by 25%.
• Goat tongue realism increased by an additional 25%.
• NPCs are now fully self aware and often ponder the meaning of life.
• Added and removed profanity filter.
• Flappy Goat hitbox unchanged.
• Probably added some bugs.
• Probably broke some workshop items.
• Sheep are not goats.
• Made a GUI in visual basic to track the assailants ip address.

ver 1.0.27849 Hotfix

• General optimization
• Various bugfixes

ver 1.0.27849

• Initial release

Goat Simulator Pre-Order Trailer
http://youtu.be/JN2QUhaKN2Q

Goat Simulator Official Launch Trailer
http://youtu.be/dvWGLcdI8o8

Goat Simulator Goat Parkour demonstration coming in patch 1.1
http://youtu.be/F8miKlAvQMk

Goat Simulator 1.1 patch early footage BICYCLE
http://youtu.be/fjJZ04DLgdA